“I’d just like to be myself. I want to be and remain authentic.” This is a request I often hear in coaching sessions with clients. The demand for authenticity is also addressed in every leadership seminar. Why is this need so widespread? And to what extent does it make sense in a professional context?

First of all, the question of “Who am I?” is one of the most challenging ones in a profound sense. The search for an answer inevitably leads to philosophical directions. Or the answer sounds more like ‘What am I’ instead of ‘Who am I’ terms of roles, positions, or tasks.

I also suspect that there is often a convenience behind the desire to be authentic. ‘I want to be the way I am’ might mean ‘I desire to be the way I feel at the moment, without consideration for others or my surroundings’ because it is the easiest way for me. This attitude may also mean: I expect others to accept me just the way I am.

This is understandable, but imagine if everyone in the office is just as they feel at the moment? How authentic would you like your boss to be? Or your employees? That could mean, for example,

They tell others their opinion bluntly, no matter what they trigger.

They burst into tears or anger in the meeting because they are deeply disappointed with a decision.

They yell at others when something upsets them and causes them stress.

They loudly give free rein to their worries about the future of the company and their fears.

They go home early because someone has just said something unpleasant to them, and they are now in a bad mood.

Or they take a nap at the desk because they feel like it after lunch.

These are all examples of consistent ‘being authentic’!

I am just the way I am – or are there better alternatives?

If everyone gave free rein to their authenticity, the effects would probably be: You get on each other’s nerves in no time, and productivity drops to zero.

All of which are undesirable.

The following approach seems much more meaningful to me. Ask yourself: “Is this behavior – in the current context – meaningful? For me, individually? For what we want to achieve together? For our living together, be it private or professional?”  Therefore the challenge is rather the question of the extent of being oneself and the context’s awareness.

I design my (leadership) role according to my playing field

An actor may slip into a role on stage that is far removed from his person – a villain, a captain, a Western heroine, a queen, whatever. In organizations, we similarly talk about ‘roles,’ about functional roles and leadership roles. But these roles are designed for a more extended period of time, and we have no script or director to guide us in this. Instead, it is up to us to shape our role, within the framework of expectations, at our own discretion, and with our personality. The art lies in being simultaneously aware of our nature, the situation at hand, and the persons involved.    

The following self-coaching points might be useful:

• I am aware of my surroundings – in business, among acquaintances or friends, in public.
• I am aware of my effect and charisma. Which messages do I send nonverbally? Please keep in mind that your body language and your tone of voice make up far more than 50 percent of your message!
• I am aware of my role, my responsibility in this specific context. I have developed a clear understanding of my role, which I adhere to in a situation- and person-related manner. This makes the decisive difference for a professional and, therefore, successful appearance and action! At the same time, you protect yourself from possible attacks.
• I am aware of my inner self, my feelings, and impulses – only in this way can I weigh up which of these I reveal to the outside world and in what way. If this inner reference is missing, I inevitably become the plaything of external influences.
• I determine my behaviour and am aware of the extent of my role play. For example, do I overplay 10%? That may be appropriate and come across as a good self-confidence. Or 50%? This may be pure self-dramatization and can become a tightrope walk.
• Self-image and external image: It is beneficial to have some selected feedback partners in this topic who support me in becoming clear about what I mean to radiate and what comes across.

If you take these aspects into account in your day-to-day leadership, you will gain credibility and evoke confidence. Because you represent in your professional role what is required of you in the given situation, you are noticeable as a personality. Much less would you be respected for revealing your innermost self to the outside world, regardless of the circumstances?

If you would like to think about these questions in more depth in a management coaching session, I look forward to hearing from you without obligation.